her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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