I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
