C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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