It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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