you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
