I bet he comes in French.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
