Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
there's paper in my vomit.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
