Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize