its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
