Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
