i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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