TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
