I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
