"it" just moved
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
