so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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