sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
