TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
