were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
