And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
