i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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