It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
