does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
