I'm going to jail i love you
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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