your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
