Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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