I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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