hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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