I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
