Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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