my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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