I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
