Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
