If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
