Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
