coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
