he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm just crazy horny about you
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
