PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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