i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
