You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
