giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
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