the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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