I'm passing your future prison.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
