I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she pinky promised me she was 18
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
