For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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