lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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