Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
