I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
