did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
