I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
