she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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